Windfall

I've been working on a post about the Lazy M, but summer weather, family obligations and my recent review have all conspired to slow down my production on that piece. (It's not like I'm be measured on my performance anyway, which leads me to...)

There's been a lot of heat and precious little light in the MSFT blogosphere about the recent reviews. In my own case, the merit and bonus I received will allow me to turn the heat up a little bit more this winter but not fly to warmer clines where I might be able to actually see the sun.

Oh well. There's always next year.

I don't begrudge the merit and bonus I received. On the contrary, I'm happy to be employed after the dark days after the dot-com implosion, so it's all upside to me. What I did find grating was the messaging my manager had to wrap my review and compensation in.

It was belittling and demeaning, and while both my manager and I knew that the party line had to be towed, presenting what I did receive as something that I should be happy about stuck in my throat. (A raise lower than the rate of inflation is not something that makes me all grins.) After noises about there being no curve this year for performance scores, I listened to a song and dance about how there's only a fixed pool for merit and bonus.

Microsoft makes a lot of internal noise about how it only hires smart people and this smart person analyzed the data presented to me, and by gum, I spotted a curve. Are the dumb ones the ones who are happy about the new situation?

Here's a thought: to weed out the deadwood and cap the avarice, leadership announces a two-year wage and bonus freeze from the CEO on down, but ties a bonus at the end of that period to the share price. Above $30/share, 5% bonus. Above $40/share, 10% bonus. Above $50/share, 20% bonus. All the way up to $80/share, 50% bonus. Those joining Microsoft during the period are pro-rated all the way up to six months before the end of the period. (Instead of spending the last six months on hiring and other HR process bullshit, we can all focus on execution.)

The two-year time line is long enough to turn the battleship to get results and shake loose those who aren't in it for the long haul. The bonus could be paid for by a combination of decreasing or eliminating the dividend along with spending some of the gigantic pot of cash we're sitting on.

How about it? Any leaders willing to throw down the gauntlet to demand better performance from everyone along with incenting us to make it happen?

Or will we still see the same leaders lining their pockets for sub-par performance while forcing the rank-and-file into a budget-dictated instead of performance-based bell curve for compensation?

Like Mike Doonsebury's summer daydream, I guess I better get back to that Lazy M post.