30 July, 2007

Orr vs. Scheisskopf while Snowden Dies and I am Dunbar

Microsoft is a study of opposites in constant dynamic tension.

Egalitarianism vs. unrestrained greed.

Transparency vs. misinformation.

Purity of mission vs. muddled deliverables.

And so on and so on and so on.

When I go to work and swipe my badge at the portal, I always get a bit of a thrill when the genuflection doesn't register. In those brief seconds before a second attempt, I am Orr, with my escape plan ready to be executed at the opportunity, never to haunt the halls again.

Then the reality of the world comes crashing back upon me as the beep-click grants my passage back into the corporate womb for more gestation. Settling at my desk and triaging my email, (because some do bleed for my attention,) and I lock back into my Scheisskopf persona, (can I get a marketing scenario card for that please?) pondering the rules I can exploit and the superiors I can impress by doing so.

And Snowden lays dying and in him I see the empty shells we sell to our customers. The only friend I had was Snowden and I didn't know him.

This forces me to take things apart and put them back together again ad nauseam in what increasingly feels like a futile attempt to make things better and extend my life.

The irony?

If our managers and leaders would get rid of the Captain Blacks, Colonel Cathcarts and the ilk like them that infest management, many of the potential Orrs would be happy to be Yossarian and be one of the boys.

Which is the entire fucking problem with this company.

10 July, 2007

When will Rohan ride to our aid?

One year later and nothing has changed.

This was going to be a different post, but recent events have forced me to wonder out loud why more people aren't contacting these people to express that some other people should be held accountable for their continued efforts to loot the corporate treasury for dollar bills to burn as bonfires to block the dinosaur from entering the living room when the mammal has snuck by to the barn and spoilt our seed stock?

I'd use another example, but I just can't decide which dead or dying horse to beat.

Every time I turn around, I see another bonfire burning to protect another isolated silo in the vast landscape that is Microsoft's corporate strategy to harness your potential for our passion.

Our passion for self-delusion by blowing shareholder's money hand over fist on pipe dream business models, strategies and leaders of average powers.

To wit:

Also in fiscal year 2004, Microsoft instituted the Shared Performance Stock Award (SPSA) program, a long-term incentive program for executives and other senior leaders that makes a significant portion of their stock-based compensation dependent upon the company's growth and customer satisfaction over a three-year period. The size of an employee's SPSA grant depends on competitive long-term compensation data, the person's job, and his or her anticipated contribution to Microsoft's long-term performance. (Source)

And so here we find ourselves again at review season. Any bets on what the SPSA (see note 14) award level will be this year? You should let the MSFT Board Compensation Committee members know what you think it should be.

Note that members of that committee set the SPSA award at their sole discretion.

Is there no one to stop this folly before the dogs of war are let loose in the courtroom?